28 Life Lessons I've Learned

HAPPY SUNDAY!

Sticking with this month's theme of 28 for my 28th birthday, I thought it'd be fun to share 28 life lessons that I've learned! I'm definitely not perfect and I don't always have my "ish" together, but these are some thoughts and concepts that have really helped me at different points throughout my life. So I thought I'd share them with y'all. It's a fairly long post, but it's worth it I promise! Enjoy!

I don't say this lightly! It is so much easier said than done, but it has been one of the most rewarding and hard learned lessons of my life! Happiness really is a choice and we can learn to be happy even through the hardest of times. I've often found that during difficult situations and trying times is when I need happiness the most. It would be so easy to get lost in the darkness without the light of happiness. So whatever makes you happy, remember...you can choose that feeling every day, NO MATTER WHAT!

This one may seem obvious, but it's surprising how often this idea is forgotten and overlooked. Growing up I was definitely the instigator and button-pusher in my family. I was a sassy little punk who always found trouble. But on the rare chance that one of my sisters did something to me instead, I remember my dad would say "Lexi, you can't control your sisters...or anyone else. You can only control yourself and choose how you will act and react." That advice has stuck with me all these years and I can't tell you the number of times I've applied this lesson in my life!

Sometimes this realization makes me laugh and sometimes it just irritates me! "Common sense is like deodorant...the people who need it most never use it." I laughed so hard at this quote because it's so true! I find myself getting frustrated with the lack of common sense, courtesy and respect that seems to be so prevalent in today's society. There are so many terrible, idiotic and silly predicaments that could be avoided if people would think things through and be more alert or aware of their surroundings and other people. I'm not naive enough to believe that I can fix this problem, but fingers crossed that common sense isn't lost forever!

I first heard this idea in Rachel Hollis' book "Girl, Wash Your Face" and I love it! If you haven't read that book, do yourself a huge favor and run, don't walk to get your hands on it! "No matter what you do, someone will always talk about you. Someone will always questions your judgment. Someone will always doubt you. So just smile and make choices you can live with." Such great words. It's true, you can never please everyone so why exhaust yourself trying? Let others' thoughts of you roll right off your back. Be confident in who you are and be the best version of yourself. Who cares what others think?!

My parents taught me when I was younger that friends will come and go, but family is forever. I remember nodding and saying oh yeah uh huh, but kind of thinking to myself...really, none of my friends are going to stick around? Turns out, like most parents usually are, mine were right. Throughout my life friends have come and gone or moved away, but without question my family has always been there for me. I'm not saying you can't or won't have lifelong friends, but it's rare. It's more likely that your family members will outlast any friend by a long shot and will provide more love and support than friends ever could. When Shawn and I got married, I gained another family member that has been with me though thick and thin no matter what. I'll say it again...family is everything!

For every circumstance in life that calls for seriousness, there is one that calls for laughter! Learn to laugh at jokes, funny moments, but most importantly learn to laugh at yourself! Life is short enough and hard enough...don't take yourself too seriously. "Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win." Just like there is always something to be grateful for, there is always something to laugh at! Find the humor and keep laughing!!

I used to hate crying and if I'm being honest, most of me still does. But I realized a little while ago that it's the body's way of helping to heal the soul. Crying does not make us weak, it makes us human. It's the bodies way of naturally responding to things like stress, loss and anger. But it's also the body's way of showing true happiness and peace. Whether you cry because you're sad or you cry because you're happy, having a good cry is both normal and healthy. Don't let society or the people around you tell you otherwise!

Like many others living in today's world, I have fallen prey to the comparison game at one point or another. By no means do I have everything figured out, but one of the things that I have really come to accept and embrace is who I am, my self worth and what I contribute or bring to this world and the lives of those around me. Each of us has something special and great to offer that no one else can, at least not in the way that we can. I believe that God gave each of us unique traits, skills and talents so that there would be variety among His children and that we could thrive in different ways. If He wanted all of us to be the same, He would have made all of us the same. Period. There is no other "me" out there, just like there is no other "you" out there. You are one of a kind, fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving God who intentionally and purposefully made you the way you are. Embrace it and love it! "Comparison is the thief of joy."

This has been a hard lesson for me to learn and honestly, I feel like I learn it over and over again in some new way every single day. I'm super grateful for a loving God that has a plan for me, but I'll be the first to admit that being patient and waiting for things to happen in the Lord's time is sooooooo difficult. I know that we're meant to be tried and tested in this life, but it doesn't mean that it's easy to go through trials and hardship. What keeps me going is faith. Faith that the Lord loves me. Faith that He hasn't forgotten about me. Faith that Christ knows exactly what I'm going through. Faith that everything will work out. Faith that I will come out on the other side of my trials having learned something important and invaluable, becoming a better person because of it. Trust in God's plan for you!

We've all heard the saying that life isn't fair, but more importantly we've probably all experienced that unfairness at some point in our lives. If there's anything I've learned in terms of the harsh reality of life, it's that we aren't handed things on silver platters, we don't get ribbons for participation and we aren't entitled to anything. We get what we work for, what we hustle for. "I'm not a product of my circumstances, I'm a product of my decisions." 

Making excuses, giving up and settling all have one very important thing in common...you. All three of those are active, conscious decisions that you can choose to make or not make. I totally believe that we have to go after we want and chase our dreams. As mentioned above, no one is going to hand us what we want! "The distance between your dreams and reality is called action." So put your big girl panties on and handle it like a boss. Stop standing in your own way. Believe in yourself, push yourself and watch yourself soar! 

It's so important to find hobbies and do things that bring you joy. Life is not meant to be all work and no play. "Hobbies give you a measure of control, when you find it slipping away in real life." Hobbies provide an escape, but can also teach us important life skills and hard work. By developing your talents and hobbies you will be prepared for the future and learn a lot along the way, but you will also keep your sanity!! 

"Be kind, but don't let people abuse you. Trust, but don't be deceived. Be content, but never stop improving yourself." The key is balance in everything. Don't focus too much on one thing or one area of your life. Try to be well-rounded and always find ways to improve!

Surround yourself with positive, happy people that make you want to be a better person! "Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution." Positive people tend to both attract and gravitate towards positive people!

Serving others and giving out of the goodness of your heart, expecting nothing in return is one of the best ways to experience true joy! I have found that a great way to forget about my trials and problems is to lose myself in service to others. It doesn't have to be anything major...bake some cookies and drop them by, take a friend to lunch, send a card in the mail, etc. Bringing happiness to others has a funny way of bringing a bit of happiness into our lives as well!

I'm a huge advocate for self love! I think it so important for everyone to have time to themselves to relax and do something they enjoy. Rewarding ourselves and having something to look forward to can help us get through everyday mundane or difficult tasks. Self love can be watching an episode of your favorite show, going to the gym, having a spa day...anything that brings you happiness and you can do on your own. This gives you time to reflect and be alone with your thoughts. Use this time to make plans, set goals and work on improving yourself!

I have found that one of the biggest parts of my stress comes from worrying about things that I cannot change. It seems like such a simple concept to not stress over things you have no control over, right? So why do we do it? I've asked myself this a lot lately and have been trying harder to focus on the things I can change and letting things I can't roll off my back. It's a work in progress, I'll keep y'all posted!

It blows my mind that there are people out there who genuinely think differences of opinion or beliefs mean they cannot love, respect or get along with another person. Being different is what makes us special. Each of us can be unique individuals that don't yield and become what society wants, all while continuing to respect and love one another. We've got to learn to have conversations where we can agree to disagree. We need to learn to hear people out and still be friends afterwards. We have to try and see others' point of view and to respect and love them regardless of their choices and beliefs!

Life can be hard! Most people recognize that and have gone through their fair share of trying times, I won't deny that. However, our circumstances do not have to define us. We can choose how we will handle and react to life's "curveballs" thrown our way. There is something to be learned and gained from every experience we go through in life. Try responding to life instead of reacting. Try changing your attitude instead of wishing your problems would just go away. Shift your perspective and respond to life's curveballs like a champ! 

"Worry is a down payment on a problem you may never have." I love this quote because it really hit home for me. I'm such a worrier and I get stressed way too easily. We've all got to find ways to decompress, meditate, refocus, relax and do whatever is necessary to ensure that stress doesn't rule our lives. It's so not worth it to stress and worry!

Have you ever heard the saying, "the days are long, but the years are short"? It's so true! My 10 year high school reunion is this year and I can't figure out where time has gone. We're always wishing that time could slow down, but what if instead we learned to enjoy the little moments and make the most of every day? 

I'm totally a spontaneous person who loves living on the edge and doing things on a whim! I'm also my own boss, so being flexible and going with the flow has always been easy for me. I am totally a planner, but I also give myself wiggle room because stressing over a day that didn't go exactly according to plan is not me. I'll get the most important things done for the day and after that, if something I had on my to-do list didn't happen it's ok...not the end of the world! After all, they say "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans!"

In today's world it's easy to be overwhelmed, worried and a bit weary with all of the terrible things that happen around us. But tender mercies from God surround us every day and everywhere...we just have to look for and recognize them! Try keeping a gratitude journal. Thinking and writing down things or people you're thankful for every day will help you easily see the little blessings all around!

Oh my gosh, I LOVE TO LAUGH! It makes me happy and can bring a smile to even my darkest days. If I'm feeling down, I'll watch funny videos on YouTube or look at humorous pins on Pinterest and it totally changes my attitude. There's just something about laughter that is so good for us and is sooooo needed. So remember to laugh often!

Books give us a chance to temporarily escape reality and enter a world of endless possibility and wonder. Reading can foster learning, encourage exploring and spark creativity. Books can be educational or purely for entertainment, but either way there are lessons to be learned and applied in our lives. "Reading forces you to be quiet in a world that no longer makes place for that." Try watching less TV and reading (or listening) to more books! I've been doing this recently and have really noticed a difference! 

I am such a big proponent and fan of living a healthy lifestyle. I say lifestyle because that's what it is. You can't expect to be fit and healthy by doing a fad diet here or a juice cleanse there. Commit to being well-rounded, consistent and intentional with your health...you won't regret it!

I recently read a blog post where the author said "being alone doesn't have to mean loneliness...work on yourself, get to know yourself." I'm a very independent person, but I also thrive on being social. I wholeheartedly believe that being both is not only ok, but healthy! Having time to yourself helps you ponder, think clearly, work on your personal growth, set goals and really get to know yourself without the influence of others around you. Balance balance balance! 

You are the only one that can change and make decisions to better your life, others won't do it for you. If you're unhappy or unsatisfied...do something about it. Take control and take the reins!!

T-Shirt - Lexi's Loft

Shorts - H&M (similar)

Bar Necklace - Forever 21

Sunglasses - Foster Grant (similar) 

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