Living Far From Family & How I Cope

By Lexi - January 22, 2018

Sweater - c/o Leander Boutique (sold out)

Boots - c/o White Mountain Shoes (50% off right now)

Growing up, I was always really close to my family; physically and relationship wise. When I moved away to college, I got a little taste of what it was like to be pretty far from family...and it was hard! All the cliches are true. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, you never really know what you have until it's gone, and never take your family for granted.

When I moved back home to take a break from school and work, I felt relieved to be near family again! I met my husband a few months after moving home. We got married a year later and once again, it was time to move away. We moved to a city about 35 miles north of home to attend college. This move wasn't too difficult because we were still close and could visit our families on the weekends if we wanted to.

Then came the hardest move ever! Shawn and I graduated from undergrad and he got accepted to dental school at Boston University. While we were super excited to move to Boston and experience the East Coast life for awhile, we knew it'd be hard to leave our families behind.

As I sit here writing this post almost four years later, I think back on how hard those first couple months in Boston were for me. Shawn was gone at school all day, six days a week and I was working from home. I was in a new place and didn't know anyone. The loneliness began to sink in.

But I wouldn't let the loneliness overpower me or take control of my life. There were things I could do to overcome it, and here's what I did.

"Accept what you can't change"

I knew that Shawn's schooling would be four years and we would be in Boston for at least that long. I decided that I would learn to love my new city and make the most of our time here.

"Explore new things"

Boston is such a beautiful city! I feel like I had blinders on at first because I didn't want to love it here and get attached. I wanted to "serve my time" and leave. But like I said above, I had decided to accept what I couldn't change and part of that meant letting myself love our new home for the next four years. It meant getting to know this city, this state, and really all of New England. Once I took my blinders off I was able to appreciate how pretty and different this part of the country is. I saw things, learned things, and loved things that I never would have had the chance to if I didn't live out here.

"Stay in touch"

This is one of the things that has made it a lot easier on Shawn and I to be so far away. We FaceTime, call, and text our families on a regular basis. Staying in touch is so important and can help you feel connected and included even though you're thousands of miles away. Thank goodness for technology!

"Welcome visitors and visit others"

Traveling to visit family as much as possible was my saving grace during dental school. That and having visitors come out and see us. We either went somewhere or had someone come to us about 5-6 times a year. So every couple of months we got a dose of family. I realize this may not be feasible or doable for everyone, but if you can swing it I definitely recommend it! Shawn and I decided that that would be a priority while we were out here so we made room for it in our budget and cut back on other things. Oh, and savor the time you do have with family. Make it count!

As I was preparing to write this post, I came across a blog by a mama that was talking about how she deals with living far away from her parents and family. She talked about how even though your family members may not be physically close to you, they're all still willing to help in any way they can.

That got me thinking about how my parents and Shawn's parents have helped us over these last four years. Whether it was sending us a surprise package in the mail or letting us know we were in their prayers, they were always helping us and showing their love! I also love what this gal said about your community and friends becoming your family. "Family doesn’t always mean blood. It is a bond that you can have with anyone if you are willing." {You can read her full article here}.

I just want to take a minute to talk a little about the dress I'm wearing in these pictures and answer any questions y'all may have! I got this dress from Cleo Madison and I couldn't love it more. Seriously one of my new faves. It is soooo soft and that pattern! I'm obsessed with florals right now! It hangs so well and would be super flattering on any body type. I've already worn it twice in three weeks (yay for going on trips and attending two different wards on Sundays haha!)

The quality is great and I know you guys will love it! If florals aren't your thing, they have PLENTY of other cute things to choose from. I had the hardest time deciding what I wanted! They were gracious enough to give me a discount code for y'all too. Use code "LEXI15" for 15% off! I'm 5'8" wearing a medium.

I know this was a longer post, but wahoo you made it to the end! Hopefully you enjoyed reading about some things that helped me cope with living 2,500 miles away from family and I hope they will help any of you that may be struggling like I was. Happy Monday! Have a fabulous week!