How I Survived Being a Dental Student's Wife
HAPPY FRIDAY!
I've been doing a lot of reflecting and reminiscing these past couple days about our time here in Boston. I got to thinking about how the spouses of dental students are just as much a part of the dental school experience as the student is. We sacrifice, we provide, we support, we encourage and we love.
Let's keep it real here. Dental school is hard. Dental school can suck. Dental school can put even the strongest of relationships to the test. There were tears, laughter, growth, accomplishment, happiness, sadness, discouragement, encouragement, and every other emotion on the spectrum throughout our journey. And we came out stronger at the end because of it.
You may think it's easy for me to say all of this stuff and give advice when I'm at the end and in lala land dancing up and down shouting for joy that we're finally done! But that's just it, I'm kind of the perfect person to say all this because I've been there and literally done that.
I understand that everyone's circumstances and settings are a little different, but I've compiled some tips and advice that I believe will work for dental (or other graduate school) wives everywhere!
1. Learn to be Independent: this one is HUGE! You have to accept the fact that your hubby will be gone ALL THE TIME, especially during the first one-two years. Even more so if he wants to specialize. It took me awhile to adjust, but trust me, learning to do this was a must! My advice is learn to be ok on your own. Binge watch a tv series, read a good book, get into exercising, explore the city you live in (more on this below). Whatever it is that fills your time and occupies your mind so that loneliness doesn't take over you, do it!
2. Be a Listening Ear: your hubby is gonna have bad days. IT WILL HAPPEN. It's inevitable. More often than not, he'll just want to blow off some steam, vent a bit, and curse the day he decided to become a dentist. But that's why you're there. To pick him back up, brush him off, and give him the words of encouragement he so desperately needs to hear. Help him keep the bigger picture in view. Don't let your man quit, or you both will regret it forever!
3. Acts of Kindness: there will be days when your man is so stressed and overwhelmed that you think he may burst. Those are the perfect opportunities for you to step up and do something unexpected to make his day just a little bit better. Or to cheer him up. Or to take the burden off in whatever way you can. Leave him a cute note, make his lunch one day, text him an uplifting quote. It doesn't have to be fancy. Sometimes, simply reminding him of your love and that you've got his back is all he needs to keep pushing on!
4. Get Girlfriends: Even if you're not the most social person (like me), you've got to get some girlfriends! One, women just get other women! Two, women watch The Bachelor. And three, women like to go out and do things. Girlfriends don't let you turn into a hermit! A saving grace for me was getting together with friends to watch Bachelor or Dancing with the Stars while Shawn studied or saw patients. (Guilty pleasure, I know!) Or driving up the coast a bit for a day trip to a cute little city. Find gals that have the same interests and hobbies as you and get together!
3. Acts of Kindness: there will be days when your man is so stressed and overwhelmed that you think he may burst. Those are the perfect opportunities for you to step up and do something unexpected to make his day just a little bit better. Or to cheer him up. Or to take the burden off in whatever way you can. Leave him a cute note, make his lunch one day, text him an uplifting quote. It doesn't have to be fancy. Sometimes, simply reminding him of your love and that you've got his back is all he needs to keep pushing on!
Sweatshirt - By Beck (sold out)
Pants - Costco (similar)
Shoes - Primark (similar)
Bag - Charming Charlie (old)
Sunglasses - H&M (similar)
4. Get Girlfriends: Even if you're not the most social person (like me), you've got to get some girlfriends! One, women just get other women! Two, women watch The Bachelor. And three, women like to go out and do things. Girlfriends don't let you turn into a hermit! A saving grace for me was getting together with friends to watch Bachelor or Dancing with the Stars while Shawn studied or saw patients. (Guilty pleasure, I know!) Or driving up the coast a bit for a day trip to a cute little city. Find gals that have the same interests and hobbies as you and get together!
5. Explore Your City: we totally lucked out...Boston is the coolest city! The history, the food, the culture, the architecture, the shopping. It all blows me away! I spent countless days exploring Boston, but also made several day trips to cities outside of Massachusetts. Learn to love and appreciate the area you're in. After all, you'll be there for four years!
6. Manage the Finances: I took on the role of money manager in our house the day Shawn started dental school. I wanted his focus to be solely on his studies. Plus, we lived in Boston...do you guys have any idea how expensive things are in Boston?! The last thing I wanted Shawn worrying about was how broke we were, if we could put food on our table, etc. So take my word for it and do your hubby a favor; handle the money and finances. It's only four years, it won't kill ya!
7. Keep a Clean Home: this may seem obvious to some of you or to others you may be like "yeah whatever", but if you're anything like me you know it can make the biggest difference! I can't tell you how many times Shawn would come home, let out a big sigh of relief and say "thanks for straightening up, it's so nice to come home to a clean apartment!" Does anyone else feel way less stressed and a hundred times more motivated when you've got a clean house? I do! I'll bet your hubbies do too.
8. Get a Job: do it. Just do it. It will not only give you something to do, but it will also bring in more money. Which I know y'all will be short on. Trust me, we went to the most expensive school in the country in one of the most expensive cities in the country...I didn't know what poor was until we moved here. Anything you can do to lighten the financial burden will take stress off of your hubby and allow him to keep his attention where it needs to be.
9. Be a Good Patient: yes, I'm doing it...I'm suggesting that you be your hubby's guinea pig. Letting your hubby work on your teeth and being his patient will allow him to practice and learn in an environment that he's comfortable in. It also shows that you have confidence in him and his abilities as a dentist. So do it, be a patient at your hubby's school. Plus...free dental work what what!
10. Let Him Study: this can be so difficult! When he's home, all you want to do is spend time with him. But sacrificing time now to let him study, will be so beneficial in your future. It might feel like forever, but it's only four years. You can do it!
11. Stay Connected to Family: thank goodness for technology! It amazes me how connected and close I've felt to my family while we were in Boston! Thousands of miles away, but feeling closer than ever. Shawn and I were lucky in that we had tons of family come out and visit us here. But we were also really good about Facetiming our families once a week. However you and your family choose to do it, make sure that those lines of communication remain open and that you don't let the miles between you distance you from your loved ones.
12. Get a Hobby: find something you love and do it! Doing something you're passionate about will help you pass the time, give you something productive to do, and who knows...you may end up finding something you can sell and do as a side gig.
Well, there you have it! I know it may feel like a lot of giving and sacrificing, but it's your hubby's time to shine. Support him, encourage him, and love him through it! You, your hubby, and your marriage will be so much stronger on the other side. It will all be worth it! If you have question of comments feel free to leave them below! Have a fabulous weekend!
Well, there you have it! I know it may feel like a lot of giving and sacrificing, but it's your hubby's time to shine. Support him, encourage him, and love him through it! You, your hubby, and your marriage will be so much stronger on the other side. It will all be worth it! If you have question of comments feel free to leave them below! Have a fabulous weekend!
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